i just watched the movie mother and child by myself (not a good idea) and pretty much sobbed my way through it. i don’t even know if it is a good movie or not, i don’t think i can judge that. it made me think a lot about the dynamics of mothers and well, childs, and it ultimately made me glad we now are a family. but there was this scene in the movie regarding an unexpected emergency c-section and i had a total flashback, which was weird. not a whole lot of bad has happened to this girl, so i guess it makes sense that i would have ptsd about that event. same thing happened the other night when krispin and i watched an old episode of House M.D. they gave this kid something to eat (hamburger to test his liver enzymes or something absurd like they do up in that show) and the simple shot of them taking the plastic top off of the large, round, not-tupperware-but-sturdy-in-a-no-nonsense-hospital-way serving dish made me gasp. out loud.
yeah, the hospital meals were the most memorable thing about ramona’s birth.
anyways, i look forward to looking back (oooh, interesting sentence) at that event in the next month or so. because six months seems like a good time to assess, and remember, and regroup. because i am sure that teething for reals this time is just around the corner.
also, the early interventionist people came and it was good and disappointing.
good, because she is not that behind.
disappointing, because she is not that behind.
see the difference? they tested her according to her adjusted age (somewhere close to 3 and 1/2 months) and she was in the 87-99th percent in all areas. she would have to test somewhere in the 70s in order to qualify for government assistance like rehab and tax breaks and all that. so we were happy.
but that also means that she is not testing at 100 percent even for her adjusted age, which is 7 weeks behind her actual age.no mom wants to hear that their baby is slightly below average, and i am no different. but we will move on, and persevere, and when she is 20 years old no one will care if she is acting more like a person who is 19 years and 10 months.
and this week she was a terror for sure, all nap strikes and hissy fits and scream city. but the past two days have been full of giggles and calm ponderings of hands and mobiles and pandas, and it is getting easier to ride the roller coaster of babydom.
and already i know that she is who she is, and i am here to be changed by her.
so, it’s been a big week around here.
1. detox diet.
yeah, we pretty much did it. i am super proud. basically nothing yummy or prepackaged passed my lips for an entire week. out of everything we cut out, guess what i missed the most?
a cup of french press with some cream. and facebook. when you put those two things together, they are MY SIMPLE LIFE PLEASURES. and now i know that. and now i don’t want to take them away again.
other than that, i feel rather sick of vegetables, but feel more confident about cooking them (and beans and rice and utilizing tahini and garlic and lemon as my flavor go-tos). i don’t feel like an awesome healthy superwoman. i feel tired, and like i thought about food a lot this week. i hope i actually did detox a little bit. today, i had some cream in my coffee and cheese in my salad. on sunday, i will ease in the gluten. bring it on!
sadly, i did not lose 20lbs. i still look like the chubby kardashian, as opposed to the hot one.
2. i started my real job today. my mom quit her job to “become a full-time grammi” (her words), and i am taking her up on that. well, every friday morning at least whilst i flit off and teach literacy at the local community college. i got 2 classes this term, which is great, so my mom watches ramona during the am one and krispin gets baby duty at night. one day a week to feel like a real person, albeit one who checks her cell phone repeatedly for any nap strike alerts. scary, exciting, and quite a juggling feat when one of our cars is all broke down (again).
3. we are going away on sunday! to the coast! to celebrate 3 years being married! without the baby! eek! stay tuned for updates on this one.
4. ramona baby had her pediatrician appointment (finally), and clocks in at almost 13lbs and 22.5 inches. basically between the 10th-20th percentile, which is great. she sleeps at night like a champs, naps like a normal baby, has her diva moments and her chill moments and still can’t control that neck of hers (well, her head is in the 90th percentile. what a braniac). she is a little behind developmentally, and so she is being referred to an early interventionist. basically, some nice people will come to our apartment, do some assessments, and give us concrete exercises to help ramona catch up with her motor skills. i am actually relieved by all this, because the worst is always feeling like your baby might not be progressing and feeling powerless. i feel like this will help us help her, and i know she will catch up soon.
so, sorry for the wordy update, but a lot happens when you aren’t using the interwebs for a week. like, people stop using the term “interwebs”.